The Gains and Losses of Affinity

That Hankinson
4 min readAug 16, 2024

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I posted on FB what I thought was a cute story about an elderly couple at the hospital. Someone seemed to have taken offense. I thought about this, I had no idea I was being offensive, thought the story was funny. Why so serious?

Photo by Pradeep Ranjan on Unsplash

My mind goes down a rabbit trail and I think of a friend from 30 years ago that was nonstop silly and fun. I had to make sure to not be by him during church as he’d tickle me during prayer or he’d give me a wet willy. I’m laughing and people are giving me that look. He met and got engaged to an attractive woman who seemed quite serious. They didn’t seem to go together but who am I to know. I help him move to their new place. He had some seriously nice bachelor furniture. I mentioned how nice it was and he offered it to me. I thought, no, I could not do that. I’d call, she’d answer, I’d ask for him and she’d say, Steve, it’s your friend. Wait, I’m his only friend?

I lose touch with him. 15 years later he finds me on FB. Constant jokes but some a bit foul. I’d say Hey, could you maybe not be so offensive. He got suspended at least twice. I think he got banned too. I cannot find him on social media anywhere.

Now my mind goes back to high school. Another Steve who was lots of fun. So many stories. I know of one teacher who had issues with who I was hanging out with.

We left work at midnight once to go to the Smokies because he heard it was snowing. Sure enough, the park was closed. That didn’t stop him! Went around the sign. I couldn’t talk for two days from laughing and yelling at him.

Another time we went canoeing overnight and got the canoe stuck on a wall. We could have inched forward to get around but he panicked and jumped out and in the process pushed the lip of the canoe underwater. That canoe was not budging! We left and he came back to a gone canoe. He wanted me to pay for it in some sort of twisted logic.

He was the first person to tell me he had to take what I think he said was lithium. He got ‘committed’ later but behaved like a smart dude and was released. Later he gets in legal trouble and calls me to get him out of it, like I’m some lawyer.

If you would pray for these two guys.

I also hung out with a band during college, did stage work for them. Loved these guys. Lots of fun times. Many concerts. I was paid with free tickets. I must have been a complete square to them. Always coming at me about being a Christian. They got too heavy into certain drugs so I stopped associating with them.

I’ve played soccer for the last 15 years. This has been a great source of competitive fun that has kept me going. I probably drive some guys crazy with my jabbering. Well, not probably.

I have a dear friend who is in the hospital who I can talk about anything with. He’s getting better. I call him my muse. Judging by this friendship and another I have an affinity for people that like to have or allow free flowing conversations.

I’m saying in all of this is that I have an affinity for people that just like to have fun. Conversely, if you are serious like I probably should be, I will rub you wrong all day long with my presence. Obviously there is a balance to be met or a direction for me to choose.

There will also be someone that does not get you. Don’t worry about that but don’t be offensive around them. Oversimplified a bit here.

I also have to be careful at work, because, serious. Things sure have changed in the last 25 years. Back then it was expected to have pranks pulled on me or by me, and we had nicknames for each other. My all time favorite job I had the nickname Trouble there. No way I’d make jokes like I used to.

In my mind’s eye I was going somewhere with all of this. Lost it. What kind of affinity do you have for people? Is it right or wrong? Should knowing and being aware of this guide you in your decisions?

God bless you all.

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That Hankinson

Enjoy reading. I know I would enjoy writing! How to get there…..