Sincerity versus Snarkiness

This is a discussion. Take this all with the right attitude, please.

I read an article by a blogger who mentioned almost in passing the comparison of being sincere versus being snarky.

That immediately struck a chord with me.

You see, I am terrible about being serious. Never have been good at it. There are myriads of reasons for this, and if you know me just a little, I am sure you have your thoughts on this.

I like to be funny, can be funny sometimes, and try all day long to be. Which is bad if you are the least bit immature. No comments.

I can walk into any situation and get people laughing in 10 minutes easy. I do not even do it on purpose, just part of my personality.

But, I notice the ones not laughing! You know, Serious People. Here come the judgemental comments, the looks, the insipid questions, the ‘can we focus’ statements, the peripheral vision look of disgust. Yep, I see you, I notice.

I then try to participate in a serious manner in the ‘whatever’ I am at and feel like I am flopping all over the place.

Then I shut up and let the Serious People take over.

Please be aware that I did not notice until recently I have been doing this for a long time.

Another thing I have noticed lately, Serious People do not like you talking back to them or more, politely, stating your opinion. They are not ones to believe in discussion. They speak forcefully their opinions as if that proves they are right. If I say something, am I being disagreeable? Maybe I simply do not agree? Maybe, I am asking for clarification? Guess this means I am being disrespectful if I do so?

I listen to and watch Serious People. Wow, lately the phrase has come to me, ‘moral bullying’. There have been so many people like this over the years. In many ways, this one aspect has led me to writing this blog.

I came across a case of this lately, cannot go into any detail, but I thought to myself, does this person have a clue how he comes across? But, you know, he is ‘right’.

I do not envision my kids staying in an environment like that when they grow up. I am seeing Serious People struggling with their kids, and, think, wow, you are losing them already, and you do not even know it. Another subject, another day. Not that I am immune to that.

I am not good at being serious, nor do I inherently want to be. I will also rub you the wrong way all day long (and you me) if you purport to be serious. Then you decide that I need to change, and, well, that goes over like anything else does when one tries something like that.

So, here I am, a Christian. I am supposed to be serious about stuff, right?

The Bible says to be sober (that does not merely mean to not be drunk). I tried to be serious for about 25 years — — misery on top of misery. And I was an asshole. (Oops, non-Serious People word).

Slowly, I started looking at myself. I am very strong about Christ, about the Bible, will not walk away from going to church and will not be one of those people talking bad about ‘church people’. I stand true to the belief that the blood of Christ cleansed me.

Due to my inability to be serious, I do not wish to be a teacher at church or a Bible Study teacher. Too much Serious for me. And, to my great dismay, I find it hard to ‘witness’. I have done all at times, but rarely.

I have kids. I joke with them all day long. Too much, admittedly. They love it (not so much now). I use humor as an object lesson, often, to get them to think. Of course, I use it to get them to see how silly they are acting.

Do not ask me to be serious with them. I can tell you that I will for their own sake, but, I’d be lying about it, and despite any sincerity, would fail.

I can be serious with them about something and have them smiling the whole time. Or at least at the end, after they have cried some. Can you do that? Oh, sorry, I am bragging.

And, they have picked up my humor, and I have to advise them when to use it, when to not use it (you know, around the Serious People).

I am currently in a great environment at work where I have done good work and been able to use my ‘dry Southern humor’ to good effect. Yes, I have to be careful, there are Serious People everywhere.

Then comes Facebook! What an opportunity for me! I have really enjoyed being on there. I am perfectly OK if you do not enjoy my posts, does not bother me. I do not want to annoy you, nor do I want to be that narcissist. I know people read but do not respond, that is OK, too.

There are Serious People on there too. Got a 1000 word message from one, one day over some innocuous issue. Not kidding. To balance things out, there are plenty of people on here who are disrespectful and like to mock others — I do not want to be that person.

I have learned a lot about myself, and a lot about other people as well on Facebook.

But this tool helped me to begin understanding the huge personal struggle I have had for 20 years. Which has led me to writing this blog.

So, what is the value of humor? In contrast, what is the value of being serious? Can they co-exist?

How can I become more serious, and thus, be more effective?

I once was asked if Communism was moral or immoral? My response without hesitation was, amoral. You should have seen the guy’s face! After he recovered, he replied that I was right. Which started the debate in that crowd anew.

The same with humor, and sincerity. Please, please be sincere, if you believe in being so. Please, use humor, if you believe in doing so. But ask yourself, Why am I doing or being either?

Perhaps back off judging someone who believes in using the other means.

Both can be used as a tool. Both can be used as a weapon. More often than not, humor is used as a weapon — the internet greatly proves that. But, I found being serious can be a tool and a weapon.

Come back for more as I expand on this, if you wish. I am new at this.

Love!