I’m so sorry, not.
A personal history of apologizing and a recent lesson
For better or worse, I decided a long time ago I wasn’t going to go around apologizing for things. I found it to be manipulative — others would apologize and then expect a certain result from it. I was not going to do that. I also found it emasculating but freely admit it shows humility when done properly.
I was in one work environment years ago where people were constantly demanding apologies. It was bizarre and there were constant conversations about who was doing the latest. Then I became a target. I did not know what I had done, honestly. And I wasn’t going to ask. I figured out months later what it was, very petty.
I came out of a toxic work environment where coworkers were apologizing all of the time. I’d think, dudes, you are emasculating yourself. Ah, they are being squeezed just like I am. F that.
I know someone that apologizes at the drop of the hat. I guess that is a good thing but I simply not wired like that. Off-putting to me. Good man, really.
I’ve come to realize lately that I should be more apologetic. But I do not want to use the words apology or sorry. It’s just silly to me.
I am a heavy reader. I’d read someone’s denial of a situation and think, come on man, admit you screwed up. Have you noticed the politician’s spin when they do something wrong?
Uh oh, am I doing that? I am a pretty direct person but still….
Now, it would definitely help if I cleaned up my act, my attitudes in the first place.
Huge segue coming….I can’t think of a good transition.
I realize now I should simply state later, ‘Hey, I should have done such and such and not so so’. I came across this accidentally, and had not read it anywhere. So I will be more purposeful in that manner. No need to use those words. I’ve done this a few times and I am happy with the results, or at least the feeling of it.
I should have realized this a long time ago!
